My Son Doesn’t Want to Go to School: 5 Essential Things to Do

There are many reasons that make your son doesn’t want to go to school. Whatever the reasons are, you are recommended to do the five essential steps to help your kids. 

For most kids, going to school is a big part of their development. After all, that’s where they meet new playmates and learn a lot about the world around them.

However, not every child has the same passion for learning as others have. In fact, some just can’t stand being in a classroom and will do everything they can to avoid school. 

While this type of behavior might be challenging for parents, it’s important not to stress out about it. Instead, take note if your child is:

  • losing interest in activities he once enjoyed;
  • uncharacteristically irritable;
  • changes his routine often;
  • having more frequent ear infections; and/or
  • suffering from bedwetting.

In some cases, your son may have a serious condition that might require medical treatment. 

You should schedule a checkup as soon as possible to rule out a physical problem causing him not to want to attend school. 

What to Do when your Child doesn’t Want to Go to School

my child doesn't want to go to school anymore
my teenage son doesn’t want to go to school

Most parents will feel anxious if their kids refuse to go to school. However, it’s important to remain calm and remember that this is normal behavior.

If your child has been refusing to attend school for an extended period of time, his refusal may be more than just a phase, and you may consider doing these steps:

#1) Ensure that he is in the proper educational environment.

You might not be aware of it, but some schools aren’t equipped to handle kids who have difficulty focusing or paying attention for long periods of time. 

This means that they may not have the right resources to help your child learn. 

In order to avoid wasting time and money, make sure that your son is enrolled in a school that can handle his special needs.

Read Also: Why Is My Daughter Always in Her Room?

After all, the education system is designed to be flexible and accommodating for all types of students.

If he’s already getting educational treatment from a specialist, make sure that you let his teachers or school administrators know about it. 

Then, they can integrate this measure into the classroom setting to help your son have a better learning experience.

#2) Create an incentive system for your child.

For some kids, the idea of going to school may not seem very exciting. If your child is a high achiever, he may be more concerned about getting good grades. 

However, if he’s struggling in school or not getting along with his teachers and classmates, then the idea of going to class might seem daunting. 

In this case, give him an incentive by allowing him to set his own goals for learning. It could be as simple as getting good grades or participating in-class activities. 

You can then reward him with something that he finds rewarding, like spending time with his friends after school or playing a game at home.

#3) Enroll your child in an extracurricular activity.

When My child doesn’t want to go to school anymore, there must be something odd going on at his school. Maybe one of them is the study load is too heavy.

As much as possible, you want to make sure that your child is spending his free time in a productive way. 

In addition to helping him develop good study habits, enrolling him in school-sponsored extracurricular activities can give him focus and passion for learning. 

For instance, your son may have an aptitude for sports, music, the arts, computer programming, etc. 

Encourage him to sign up for activities that challenge his abilities and expand his interests.

If he isn’t interested in any school-sponsored activity, then it’s OK to let him explore the world of extracurricular learning on his own.

For instance, if your son is into video game development, you can help him develop his skills by allowing him to use your computer and providing him with tutorials that can help.

#4) Positively re-engage your child in school activities.

If your son is still displaying signs of being disengaged at school, then you should consider having a talk with the teacher about it. 

When you do, ask the teacher what types of things your son isn’t motivated to learn about or are difficult for him to comprehend. 

Related Topic: What to Do When Your Teenagers Run Away

You might be surprised to discover that there may be ways you can help your son with his schoolwork at home.

It could also be helpful if you asked some teachers outside of his regular class for some suggestions. 

Always consider their suggestions with an open mind and discuss them with your son. If you find something that he’s interested in, then allow him to pursue it as long as his regular school work is done.

#5) Don’t force your child to attend school if he shows no interest.

It’s not uncommon for parents to get anxious when their children refuse to go to school. 

After all, most parents want their kids to get a proper education and good grades so that they can have a successful and productive life later on. 

If you’re getting worried that your son may fail in school or end up dropping out, then it’s OK to allow him to take things at his own pace. 

You can start this by not forcing him to go to class if he shows no interest in learning about a particular subject or participating in an extracurricular activity.

#6) Build positive relationships with your child’s teachers, school administrators, and friends.

If you want to help your son overcome his lack of motivation for learning at school, then it’s important that you start by building good relationships with the people that can influence his education. 

Get to know his teachers or administrators; ask them what you can do to help your son. It could be important for you to know about all of the different strategies that are used in class or things that he needs to work on.

#7) Understand how motivation works in teenagers.

When my teenage son doesn’t want to go to school, make sure as a parent we pay attention to the mental aspect.

You’ve probably heard it before: one of the most important aspects of success is having the right motivation. 

This can be applied to academics as well, especially during your son’s teenage years.

During this time, his behavior will become more reflective of the things he values most in life. If your son doesn’t want to go to school, then it’s possible that there are other factors that are playing into this decision.

If your son isn’t interested in his school classes, ask why. 

Sometimes it could be due to a subject that he’s not interested in or doesn’t understand. If you think this is the case, then discuss it with his teacher.

5 Essential Things to Do When Your Son Doesn’t Want to Go to School

When it comes to education, you can never start too early. However, some kids will be eager learners and others won’t. 

If you suspect your child may be exhibiting abnormal behavior because of school aversion, consider the following:

#1) Stay on top of his routine

Let him sleep in your bed, bring him favorite toys and play with him as often as possible. 

He may also feel more secure if you leave the door open when he’s in his room or take him out for a walk before school. 

If your son doesn’t want to go to school, it is vital that you do everything within your power to make him feel safe.

#2) Don’t make comparisons

This includes comparing your child to others, telling him he should be more like his siblings or avoiding conversations about school because it might make him feel worse. 

If you don’t want to make things harder for your son, simply focus on keeping him happy and healthy.

#3) Pay attention to his diet

It’s important that you monitor his eating habits and ensure he is properly nourished. 

A healthy diet will help him stay focused and feel more energetic than if he were on a diet of junk food.

#4) Keep things positive

When talking to your son about school, stay positive and avoid getting angry by not raising your voice. 

In addition, refrain from talking about how he would feel if he didn’t have a job or other adult responsibilities when he grows up.

#5) Talk to his teacher

If it seems as though nothing is helping, talk to your child’s teacher and ask for her input. She may be able to provide you with some advice that can work in your favor.

Can You Force Your Kid to Go to School?

If your child is refusing to go to school, then it’s important that you talk to them about it. If this issue is affecting their grades or social life, then you may have to consider other options.

The first thing you should do is find out why they don’t want to go. Is there an underlying cause or is it simply because they’re not interested in the subject matter. 

If your son tells you that he feels like he’s getting left behind in class, then you should consider having a talk with his teacher about this.

Once you understand the reason, you can decide whether or not to force your kid to go to school. 

However, it is important to remember that it is unwise to force your kid to go to school without knowing the actual reason as this will only make your son more reluctant.


In the end, you have to understand that being forced to learn about something that they’re not interested in is going to be a waste of your son’s time. 

It may even cause them to resent school and education as a whole.

If your kid doesn’t want to go to school, then consult with his teachers and professors to find out more about the issue. 

If it’s mostly due to his grades or some social reasons, then it may be necessary for your son to take a break from school.

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