Among all human emotions, anger is the hardest to control. Every people gets angry at others, including parents at their children. In fact, showing anger to children can cause negative effects on their mental development and behavior. For that reason, learning anger management parenting is essential for every parent.
Anger management parenting techniques consist of simple strategies to tame anger. Whenever you get angry, you know what to do and how to transform anger into positive energy. As a result, your relationship with the children will not be damaged by anger.
What Make Parents Angry at Their Kids
Parents have countless reasons to get angry at their children; breaking something, spilling food, squabbling, coming home late, and many more. That becomes the question, can a simple mistake trigger angry outbursts from parents?
Anger management parenting believes that small mistakes can push the angry button but it’s not the main triggering factor.
Spilled food or broken vase isn’t powerful enough to trigger anger. Instead, it is a lack of patience, worrying about problems, and feeling of not being appreciated that cause outbursts.
For instance, a child who comes home late will make his parents worry. This worry is the actual trigger of anger. Or when a child spills food, parents think he doesn’t appreciate their struggle in preparing food.
Let’s say that when children make a mistake, they push your angry buttons. Parents who understand anger management parenting surely realize this situation.
In some other cases, anger is caused by offending inner childhood. When your childhood received a lot of anger, chances are that you unconsciously re-enact the past.
The rage and fury can be easily triggered when you feel offended, even if it is caused by your own children. Learning how to control anger helps heal your inner child, so you can control emotion in front of your child.
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Bad Effects of Showing Anger to Kids
Many parents believe that showing anger to children is normal. But the ‘normal’ label shouldn’t be a justification to show your rage from time to time. Without your knowledge, a terrible thing happens inside your children when you hit or scream at them.
Failure of managing parental stress for parents will also affect the kids. Showing anger at children significantly drops their confidence. They blame themselves and it makes them stressed.
Over time, it can affect their mental and brain development. According to research, children who live in a household with a lot of anger have a higher risk of mental illness.
Besides, using sharp words to your child can cause bad behavior. In some cases, they react with anger, aggressiveness, rudeness, and also prone to be temper tantrum kid.
The psychological effects of yelling at a child are very bad. Your child becomes quiet and fearful. If parents don’t learn about how to control their fury, children have a higher risk of low self-esteem, negative relationships, and mental health problems.
The inability to control emotions will have new adverse effects. when children make mistakes, they will lie rather than be honest but get scolded by their parents. If so, it will be more difficult to stop child from lying than to control parents’ emotions
Tips to Manage Your Anger
There are some effective strategies to handle your anger. Applying anger management parenting to your household helps give a healthier relationship between parents and kids. Whenever anger comes, here are several things to do:
Don’t take any action
When you feel the presence of anger, don’t take any action. Instead, calm down and stop your activity for a while. Just take a few minutes to take a deep breath. It helps lower your blood pressure and muscle tension. If necessary, force yourself to smile.
Give as much tolerance as you can
Children are children. They have a lot of energy and sometimes they don’t know how to spend it. When they start messing around, the first thing to do is giving them as much tolerance as you can.
With anger management parenting, you can say to yourself that getting angry at this situation won’t help.
Threats are effective to make your children follow the rules, but only once or twice. The next time you threaten, they will less likely care about it.
As an alternative, tell your children that you may have an appropriate response to the violation of the rules. It gives a better effect than threatening them with something you won’t do.
Mind your Word and Tone
When you apply anger management and parenting, it’s important to mind your word and tone. Speaking calmly helps you feel calm.
Surprisingly, it also affects the response you receive. Similarly, using swear words and a high tone escalates the situation. When you get angry, try to speak calmly to your child and see how he responds.
Avoid Physical Force
No matter what, physical force should be avoided. Learning anger management parenting means you should understand that physical force never solve the problem. Otherwise, it causes trauma that lasts forever.
Children who receive physical punishment can suffer from depression and anxiety. If you have an urge to slap or spank, leave the room immediately, and calm down.
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When to Find a Help
Controlling anger isn’t a piece of cake. Sometimes, the harder you try to calm down, the angrier you are.
This may happen in parents who don’t comprehend how to control anger correctly. But, it doesn’t mean those who have learned the techniques can do it easily.
Never hesitate to find help, especially when your anger persists even after trying some techniques. If you are having trouble, consult your counselor for help teenager with anger issue.
The counselor can help you find ways to manage your emotion, especially anger. Moreover, if you have a tendency to hurt your children, make a call to the authority in your country and find your anger management classes.
How to Recover a Broken Relationship with Kids
When your anger has damaged the relationship with your children, there are several ways to restore the bond. Anger management parenting encourages you to follow these tips:
Apologize each time you get angry at your child
Many parents are too pride to apologize. Instead, admitting that you’re wrong can be a powerful weapon to restore the relationship.
Express your love
When you have lost their heart, get it back by telling that you love them. Ask if there is something you can do to bring back the bond.
Don’t recall past offenses
Let bygones be bygones. In anger management parenting, it is never correct to bring up past offenses as it can hurt children’s feelings.
Anger management parenting is a method to become a better parent. Anger is difficult to control, but nobody says it’s impossible. Understanding each other and self-control can be a key to harmonious relationships.